I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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