I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
