Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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