I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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