he thought i was a dude.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
