I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
