He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize