Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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