Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
