did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
