I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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