office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
