Quick, to the slutcave!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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