So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
