I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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