Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
