Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
