Me too!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
