Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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