I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
