the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he thought i was a dude.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
