fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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