He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
