The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
