it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
