just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize