Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
