tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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