im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
