You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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