The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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