She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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