Kiss
Puke
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
