Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
