shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
