all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
