Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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