please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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