As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They took my balls.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
