i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
