Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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