She tied me up with her honor cords...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
