Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
