...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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