started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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