it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
