wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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