Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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