you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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