Your dad touched me again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
