Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
