So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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