Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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